Feliz!

Man. I seriously sense 2009 is gonna be a good year. =)
I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it in my bones!

I seriously feel so happy. =)
idk if its was christmas. But ive been in this mood for awhile.
Idk! just things are going right. But ive actually came to realization that i cant really hold things back. And like even this year was shit, ive seriously became stronger, careful, and just smarter than wayy before. I went from the naive girl to a strong minded woman! HAHAHAHA. Oh jeez. but seriously. i have. Don't hate now. =)

But just things ive kept inside for so long. i finally let it go. and im seriously happier. I know life isnt fair. but there is something out there yu get to have. we cant just say life isnt fair if we cant get what we just want, we just tend to look at the downside of things and say that life is unfair. but when you actually look at the things you have now, you are blessed with the things you have now. For me. i was seriously unhappy because i was that selfish person that just wanted this and wanted that. but ive realized that i have all the things i need. and im pretty happy with that. I have good friends. a great family. and just the things i need. But just the little things will make me happy for awhile, but its gone. Its just temporary. Thats cool and all, but at one point it's purpose will fail. Cuz either things change or you just get bored of it. And just our selfishness prevent us from being happy. So. if you can't get something you want. just let it go. there is always something else better out there for you =) You can't have someone else just make you happy, the only person who can make you happy is YOU!

Anywayss! Aside from my whole lecture of happiness. =)
I am going to make some new years resolutions. hahaha.
Hey, i got goals and dreams to achieve!

New Years Resolution

- Get a Job
- Try not to get senioritis! (pwhaha)
- Read more books
- Pick up playing guitar again
- Don't let myself go. HAHA
- Listen more & understand more
- Think less of me, and think of others more.
- Just have a great senior Year & freshman year in college. =)

i think this is the most simplest resolution list ive ever made. =) i hope i can i get this all done during 2009. =)

Anyways. I got to finish up some hw. so i dont end up procrastinating. =) SO adios!

New Years Day- John West

BitterSweet.

i hate dreams.
i hate it espically when you know it can't magically come true.
but dreams are dreams. it just sometimes shows us our inner desires. Some just we really want. you know ambitions, goals, aspirations, and sometimes things we want but we can't admit we want it. but i just had a dream that just revealed me somethings that i honestly didn't want to see. It wasn't a nightmare, more just of a dream that isnt gonna come true. so its more of a downer dream. boo..

well... on the upside. I seriously did not have a great saturday night like this in a lonnng time. Well after getting the whole "you can't go to the christmas party" from my mom was a total bummer. We got up at 8 oclock, got ready to head down to big bear. But before we headed down there, we stopped by the auto shop to pick up my mom's car (some retarded girl hit it when my mom's car was parked). This auto shop was like also like a car dealership place. so while we were waiting for our car, my dad had me look around for a potential car. =)

Oh my gosh. i just want a freaking maroon colored bmw. ><

Hello world. Meet Ted, the bear. =)

Overall. AMAZING NIGHT! =)
Thank you for the present leann, nikki, andy, & caro <3>

I just love it when nights like these just totally just washes away the other bad days i've had. With the two days home alone cuz of my test. AND THEN ALL my test getting cancelled on friday -__- and just crazy xmas shopping at puente & Yeah. Eagle Dos & Caro knows wsp. But i really dont give a hoot. so whatevers. BUT Xmas party + Annums house= THE best way to start off break! =) I love you guys!

Well its now THREE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!

& Guess what? Im going back up to the mountains again for Christmasss! =)
& also possible New years party/ Ice Skating/ Beach during break?

Also i needa find a JOB!!!!!
so i'll be looking. =)

Man. senior year is getting better. i love it. Gooooooooooooood bye 2008.
HELLO 09! Shit. im graduating sooonnnnn!! Collegeee! =)

You know... There are times when things are just out of our reach and cant really make a change if we tried. but what we have control over is just how we just do things this year. so make the best out of it. Even with the sweet & bitter moments. After all. Life is like box of chocolate, you never know what chu gonna get. =)

Just like in nacho libre,
XOXOXOXOxoxoxXOX,
Ohhsarang

Song of the day:
Can't Believe it- Jackie Boyz

.

Like what the fuck.
You seriously think you can do that and just think you can get away with it?
The only reason why youre doing that shit is because you aint getting some.

& i seriously thought i was considering starting fresh with you.
BUT i thought wrong. thanks. another mistake just avoided.
Go screw yourself. I'm pretty sure youre good at that anyways.

Here We Go...

Its 11:38pm and i should be studying for my government test tom, but... i feel like blogging. =)

Well last week was pretty blah. It had is ups and downs, but oh wells things happen for a reason you know? Other than that, its been getting colder and colder each day. & i love it! School is getting a bit allright. not too bad. so im pretty chill with it. Just next week! Winter break!! =D yipeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh before i start about last week, i want to tell you about my cousin's artshow in UCI. =) My cousin, Jasmine is majoring in Studio art and she had an artshow at UCI. I left right after 5th period class to go with my other cousin, Christine, and headed down to Irvine. Since we were so hungry we stopped by Irvine Spectrum, ate at corner bakery, got a free bang cut from Tony & Guys, and bought some stuff at Urban Outfitters. =) Afterwards when it was getting closer to 6pm, we stopped by a market got some flowers and headed down towards UCI. once we got to uci, we went into a little art room that showcased all the seniors and their pieces. Out of all the paintings and artpieces, my cousins freaking BRIGHT pice stood out. like literally. While we waited for some people to come down, we got some free food, good music, and just an overall chill place to be. I love art. Just looking at some of the art was very inspirational. i loved it. =) After meeting a bunch of my cousin's friends, we took a group picture and just had a great time. =) My aunt came to the art show and afterwards she took me home. But not knowing where she was going, she took the wrong freeway and ended up going away from my house. -_- but luckily my mom saved us. While we were in the car, my aunt offered me a job to tutor my little cousin, Joyce. so i took up the offer. after a long driver, i got home at 11pm. and i had school the next day. So yeah. But overall, i loved my cousin's artshow and all. =)

SHE'S COMING....!

Jasmine Chang (The one with the blonde hair)

OKAY! now to Last week. =)

Well i just want to write some of the highlights of last week before i forget them. As usual after 3rd period, i would walk with david to the bell tower. While i was there, freaking nikki just comes out of no where and scares me! seriously my eyes were like O_O . And nikki is just laughing her butt off. -_- so the next day i try to scare her, faillllllll. -_- I think it was a wednesday? I went right behind her and scared her! she screamed so loud, and omg i couldnt stop laughing. =) pwhaha. thursday i get her again. but this time i was seriously standing right next to her. and she still got scared. xD Hahahhaa. goooooooood times. well nikki. thats what you get >:)

Friday, I love friday! With the extra cold weather and rally day, I just loved it. Not only did i just had that to look foward to, but freaking Tennis banquet! xD we were going to Vince's Spaghetti's place and then some Ice Skating!! =D Yay! And omg. like seriously i loved the banquet. Not only did i get a great scrapbook that the girls made, but i got the most inspirational award. =) Yay! And not only that, i got some nice slippers and foot scrubs/creams from my secret buddy, Gabbbby. :) hahahhaa. thanks girly! After a great meal and awards and all, we went ice skating! Omg it was so freaking fun that i can not explain it just in words, but in photos. =)

In other news, Im offically done with testing. Goodbye ACT and SAT and
helllllllooooooooooooooooooo Saturdays! =) im so glad im done with it. hahaha.
yay. =)

Also as usual, my cousin joyces comes to my house to get tutored. and she was sick. so i let her chill a bit. While i was peacefully sleeping, joyce gets a phone call from my cousin and seriously tells us to wake up to get in line for forever 21's grand opening at puente hills malls. so i seriously get ready in a flash. and my cousins Christine and Jasmine comes to pick us up. Its 7:45 AM and we walk into the mall. We finally find the forever 21 place and there is a big sign saying " GRAND OPENING DECEMEBER 13th!" and i look at my phone and what do you know..... its december 14th! -____________________-;;;; UGH! talk about retardednesssssss! =( so withh our dreams of getting free giftcards out of hand, we all go to soup plantation and eat some yummy soup and other stuff. =) Then we all go back to my house and just have a nap fest till my parents get home. Once my cousins crashed on my bed, me and joyce just crashed on the couch freezing our butts off. =( but soon enough jasmine comes out and says shes hungry. With nothing in our frig, i just find a mac n cheese box, dumplings, mozerella sticks and tea and we grub. =) soon enough my parents come home and cousins finally leave.

In a couple hours my mom and my littlest sister jeanette wanted to go to the shoppes and get stuff at sanrio. so i go along. and take pictures in front of the tree, shop at sanrio, barns and nobles, and H&M. with the lack of my forever 21 gift card i get a free $10 giftcard from H&M =) Woo! And now im home. NOT tired. and trying to study for gov. so yeah. pretty much its been pretty chill.

Since Xmas is almost coming, i feel like writing my Xmas list =)
Hehehe.

1. Boots- faded out dark grey/grey rainboot looking boots. but with a faux leather look.
2. Sweaters/Cardigans/Hoodies- A bit oversized. =)
3. Jeans- Straight jeans.
4. A nice formal dress (Tunic-black-satin-ish material)
5. Phone cover (EnV2) black.
6. Giftcards! (H&M, F21, Urban Outfitters, American Apperal, etc...)
7. Varities of nail polish =)
8. Messenger Bag- faux leather
9. BLACK KNIGHT DVD!!!!!!!!
10. CA$H
11. Scarfs! Knitted =)
12. A new wallet. - with a fake croc detail.
13. Coach Sneakers. =)
14. A CAR!!!! w/ Insurance. =)
15. hugs hugs hugs! =)
16. One Republic, Daphne Loves Derby, John West, Musiq Soulchild, Saosin Concert Tickets!
17. A trip to New York, Paris, England, Italy, Rome, EUROPE in general!
18. Someone to teach me how to snowboard. =)
19. Hello Kitty necklace. =)
20. & i know how corny,lame, stupid. but ill be honest, a boy =) (but ill be patient. ^^ like a good girl. hahahahaha)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY. i think im done with catching up on the last two weeks i didnt blog. so yeah. and sadly, im still now sleepy. well... im gonna go do something productive. so adios! =)

.

Everything I do isn't good enough.

Unexpected.

I got something that i totally didn't expect today.
My whole body is shaking and i really don't know what to do.
I'm just staring at it. Thinking if i should do something about it or leave it alone.

i really don't know. It's just kinda shocking how last night i was thinking about this, and what do you know, it's actually happening...



crap.

EVOL

Good morning!

Man. seriously this past week just was wayyyy too long.
BUT. college apps are finished and Christmas is getting closer and closer!

Thanksgiving was great. Even though my family didn't have their annual get-together at my uncles house, BUT its okay! =)

I had my early morning thanksgiving feast at home just with my family. Like I've been very selfish and idk that day just helped me realize how thankful i am to have my family. Yeah at times we don't meet eye to eye, but we still love each other. And that's all it matters. I'm just very thankful for my family & close friends & how they have always been there for me. =) i love you guys. Anyways, after my dad went to work, me, my mom & my sisters went down to LA to see my grandma (dad side) & grandparents (moms side). It was great to see them. AND not only did i see my grandparents, i saw my cousins! =) lovelovelove them! Overall, i had a great thanksgiving.

Now, college apps. i hate them. i do not like them. no sirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreee.
BUT ITS DONE! and I'm pretty happy =) hehe. now all i have to worry about is freaking getting back the letters. O_O eep!

& mosdef i gotta thank freaking Justin for staying up with me till 4 in the morning helping me do my statement. =)

OTHER than school. I'm pretty chill now. My banquet is coming. & I get to ice skatttte! =D hehe. and Xmas dinner party! and pretty soon. Winter formal. =) and i actually have someone in mind i want to go with. hahaa. BUT we shall see!

All right. since i got all that stuff out of the way. time to vent.

I don't know but everyday I'm actually starting to realize how much I've changed. I'm more cautious of myself. I'm actually more patient and as much as i want to see the good in people, I'm really starting to see the worst. But hey. it happens. I know for a fact that half the people i know will end up forgetting me. Well, its life. Can't always have what you want. But there's always a part of me that still holds on to some people. I'm pretty sure they're going on with their lives and probably dint even think about me but i still think of them. I miss them and i wish nothing but the best for them. But honestly, i hate when people change. Sometimes i wish i can go back and relive those moments. & I'm sorry. I wish i can do something to fix it. But just know, i still care and love you guys.

& since this topic was brought up from a previous convo.
What is love? & How do you know its for real?

In reality, Love isn't something you can come by from time to time. Love is a gift. And some people tend to forget that. And I'll admit myself, i forget it too. You can't think that you're in love, you know it. Well as for me, i don't know what love is. i thought I did, but not really. But its okay, cause I'll find out someday. =) hahaha

As for now, It's time for me to sleep. night.